Home sweet home

People always say " Home sweet home" when they get back to there hometown. However, i often ask myself "where is home?"

Being born and raised in Hong Kong, I have experienced a huge culture conflict. Most of my friends come from a really international background. Whenever we get together we will talk about our stories of lives. I find common that my friends always do not know where they belong and where they call it home due to raise with different cultures all together or they can actually call more than one place as home. The fact is that they can not really fit in either side of their heritages.

Even for me, I am a Chinese who grew up in Hong Kong. Experiencing international culture for most of my high school journey, I find it funny how i do not feel like this is home. Moreover, i can not fit in at school or church.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1oxcr-K99Q

Updates

Now it's 126 in the morning, i really should be in bed right now. However, i feel like i dont have much time to reflect on my life recently. Therefore, i should take sometimes and think about what i ve done in my life since i ve came back from Rwanda.

School started almost 2 months ago. How do you like it? Honestly, i dont like it at all. Actually, i ve found myself hating it. For what reason? Plenty of them. I dont even know where to start. I think i hate school is simply because it's kinda slowing me down for what i wanna do, like college apps. And stuff teach at school are just not so useful, i mean i find it interesting but not so the way i expected from a while ago. Classmates are complicated, ive always heard gossip everywhere i go. I mean i m not saying i m perfect and i think gossip will never be gone. But i mean come on! I have ups and downs already, i dont wanna hear people taking about other group of people bad things. It just kinda annoys me.

I also feel like im in a situation that im so stressful, i really wanna take sometime of to spend some quality time with my family and friends. This is actually the first i ve ever said something like this.

I feel so bad about cant be at church as much as used to be, and my relationship with god isnt as close as used to be. However, i know that i cant blame anyone about that, sometimes you just have to make time for god. And i somehow make myself repeating this thought in my mind all the time. ( God puts me to wherever you are now for a very special reason, you gonna be fine.) Sometimes, things go very crazy i just couldnt fine when im not. Therefore, bad temper and such awful behavior involved.

Finally, i ve decided to resign one of my jobs and my last day would be this Thursday. i really hope that God would lead me to a new stage of life that i can just simply get done with the things that i suppose to be finish on time. More importantly, finish my application for Moody.

A bigger picture

I would never think I have a chance to go to Rwanda. There were so many things

bother me right before the trip. Firstly, my dad got in some kind of trouble during

my finals. Secondly, I was waiting the offers from school. Those things make me feel

hopeless, lack of peace and lonely. At that time I was so afraid to face my situation

and deal with my problems. However, God brought me there.

In Rwanda, the most important thing I have learned is to focus on the bigger picture

from God’s plan. On the second day of the trip, we were supposed to meet up with

the street kids to play soccer with them, but somehow the field that we planned

to go was occupied. Also one of us wallet got stolen from the local people, and

his passport was in it. All these obstacles, we will directly think evil is behind it.

However, i have learned that sometimes in our life these hardships and difficulties

will lead us to God’s ultimate great plan.

Eventually, We got another field for the streets kids, and one of them got us back the

wallet. Moreover, Praise told us the story about the street kid who got us back the

wallet. Praise said he used to be a kid who would not help us to get back the wallet.

Instead of not helping us, he was saying that “ No matter what ill get the wallet

back.” What I mean is without all these obstacles we will not see the change of these

kids. I always heard people saying” don’t worry! Focus on the bigger picture!” Now I

finally understand that.

On the other hand, I am so glad that God give me an opportunity to be able to

meet all my wonderful teammates. I totally enjoy the time when we hung out

in Rwanda. More importantly, we share some much special things. Like the life

style in Rwanda. Also the things we share everyday during devotion. I have to say

I love you guys so much. I hope I can go back to Rwanda with you guys next year.

Summer 2010

I still remember how i was saying this summer feel kinda long. The summer is already half way through. Cant really believe that time flies that fast. But i think this summer i have learn a lot of things that i would never expect.

First of all, I still remember how i sign up for Rwanda trip very last min. I didnt even think that i will go to Rwanda, cuz at that time my life was kinda falling part. Everything seem really not stable, how can i get out of hk anyway? On the other hand, i didnt think i was ready as well. At that time i just started working at Fat Angelo's. So everything was a mess in my life. However, Rwanda trip happen to be at the right place in my life. I was really amazed how everything work out really well through the whole summer. And i finally know that if god wants you to be there, youll be there! And also the trip itself is a really amazing blessing in my life! How i met some really cool people and how we shared during the trip. It was just awesome.

Second of all, Im really amazed that how much i ve learn from my job and how i got my job. I still remember i want a job really bad, and i cant really find one. Finally, god gave this one to me. Working at Fat Angelo's as a server is a really hard thing for me. Because i havent worked at a restaurant before, i absolutely know nothing about being a server. Therefore, i was freaking out the whole time. Gladly, i get used to it faster than i thought. And also the wonderful people i met at this company is also a blessing. Because they both have their stories, and they're willing to teach me everything. Most of our staff at Fat Angelo's they're my age, and we're all facing the uncertainty cause by the life changing situation. So we will share and be with each others all the time!

Last but not least, this summer god has also taught me how to wait. Ive been waiting for school offers since the day i finish my interview at school. At this moment Im still waiting. Also i have already told how i feel about the girl i like, and i m still waiting. So god really has taught me how to wait and dont be worried too much.

God has taught me well through the summer, and i m still excited whats gonna happen next.

Suffering?

Why do people suffer? Simply because they had something better before! For example, people will never complain when they're enjoying their lives and they will also expect that will last foever. The fact is the wonderful life they have will not last that long. In fact, they have a lot of testing, disappointment, complaining and disbelieving in there lives instead of the good things. These thoughts and the bad situation eventually turn in to suffering. Only because things are not happening the way that people expect.Therefore, expecting good things happen in your own life will lead to suffering...

i just start this article

but is really hard to finish it=[

Sickness

Near every time when i'm really sick, i'll ask myself a question" am I gonna die?" Fortunately, i''ve been through every single one of them!

This week is the hardest week in my entire life! I got a Flu during the beginning of the week, then i got a intestine infection during the same week. Isn't that sound fun? Nope it's not fun at all! I've been suffering through the whole week! With no one to help at all! Why? Cuz Dad is in a great trouble!

I know my dad well! He can be smart sometime, but in general he's a dumb man! He always do something that put himself and his family in a dangerous situation. Being his son, Its kind of fun sometime, but most of the time is suffering! I'm not so much a " wanna be wealthy" person, all i want is to be normal. However, in real life i'm always way more then normal! I'm the one always cleaning up my dad's mess! Always taking care of him!

Anyways, this entry its not to blame him. All i want to say is, i think i carry sickness all the time, even is physically or mentally! Also all i want is to focus on my own work like school or work or whatever! Cant you just let me breathe some time? The timing of you giving me mess to clean, is all wrong! I'm too sick of it! I just wanna leave and never come back! I have never feel this so strongly before!